Saturday , 24 March 2018

10 Facts About Divorce And Dating/Marrying A Divorcee

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Sorry to say that a quick jump to conclusion based on personal religious believes can mislead other people. A little research can make sense sometimes.

Here are my findings about divorce, dating and marrying a divorced person.

1. It is Not A Sin To Date & Marry A Divorced Person
For Christians even though Jesus, and St. Paul in the bible advised that a man should not divorce his wife (which is right), they never called divorce a ‘Sin’ (do your research please). Not everything that is ‘wrong’ is a ‘sin’ (eg calling someone ‘fat’ is wrong but not a sin). A sin is breaking of one of the commandments of God, and usually committed against God. ‘Sin’ is different from ‘offense’. Offense is against a man-made law. Adultery is what is a ‘sin’, not divorce, according to the bible. Dating a divorced person is not adultery because she/he’s no longer married before God and Law. There’s a big difference between telling someone not to smoke because it’s not good to health, and saying ‘smoking’ is a sin (against God). In the Bible, God de-commissioned Queen Vashti, and replaced her with Queen Esther (a teenager), after the former queen became a ‘joke’, and God sanctioned it. Please preach the ‘Word of God’, not your personal opinion.

2. ‘Divorce’ and ‘Separation’ Are Different:
Divorce means the marriage is over before God and man. Both people are legally & spiritually single again (all ties and bonds are broken). Even Bible allowed divorce if there is a ‘proven’ marital unfaithfulness. Koran has its rules for divorce too. Remember ‘Marital unfaithfulness’ can be both physical (intimate relationship outside marriage) or emotional unfaithfulness (non-intimate relationship outside marriage including one being more loyal to his/her pastor, friend, or boss than her spouse) grin. If a person says he/she is divorced, before jumping into relationship please see the official divorce certificate to avoid adultery. Remember if it’s only a separation, the estranged spouse can always come back.

3. Church Can Annul or Dissolve A Marriage:
Most recently, some organized churches like the Catholic church have legal power to ‘dissolve’ or ‘Annul’ a marriage (treating the marriage like it never happened) depending on the circumstances between the couple and only if the church had tried all avenues and failed to reconcile to matter. A good example is, where both parties are AS genotypes and giving birth to ‘SS’ offspring, or one party contracted HIV, etc.

4.A Woman Can Divorce Her Husband In The Court:
In modern times a woman can divorce a man too, it’s not always a man that divorces a woman. In fact, in most cases it’s a woman that files divorce for her safety.

5. Major Cause Of Divorce Today:
In some cases, where there’s divorce, if you trace back to how they started, the marriage was never meant to be in the first place. Somebody lied or manipulated his/ her way into the marriage for some selfish gains (money, fame, sex, power, traveling abroad, greencard, societal pressure, etc) and took what didn’t belong to him/ her. If there’s love, and the marriage was commissioned by God, there would never have been a divorce in the first place (No Offense to anyone).

6. Divorced People Are Not Bad People.
Divorce simply means two people are both different and couldn’t live together because of deep irreconcilable differences. They may say things to demonize each other to win the case in court. Sometimes that’s purely to get sympathy and win the case. Never judge from the media circus and one side’s story. Usually, it’s deeper than what we hear, and both parties played a role in breaking down their marriage.

7. It’s Legal To Either Date or Marry A Divorced Person.:
Yes you can comfortably date or marry a divorced person (man or woman) and still enjoy peace, love and a very successful relationship. Mary was divorced because of adultery, yet Jesus forgave her and kept her as a close friend/follower. It all depends on one’s attitude. If one’s attitude sucks, it sucks even if one marries a single Prince or Princess, he/she will still turn people off.

8.There’s No Ex In The Picture In Any Divorce Granted In A Court -That’s A Myth:
Once a court grants a divorce, there’s no Ex- to deal with. He/she is no longer in the picture, and can never come back except through another marriage. Therefore, there’s no such thing as the “Ex coming back”. A court shares everything and each party walks away with his/her share of assets and liability. It’s permanently over, so think well before you jump in the divorce queue. grin

9.Not All Divorces Are Bitter
People can be divorced and remain friends. In fact, it is advised they remain friends especially if they have kids to raise. Not all divorces are bitter with a fight. Sometime two people can decide they need to let go of childish selfish passion.

10. Dating or Marrying A Divorced Person Who Have Kids:
You cannot love a divorced person who have kids without loving his/her kids. If you wanna date or marry a divorced person make sure you have good relationship with his/her kids too. Remember Kids can never be divorced from their parents! You are there, but they were there before you. You must co-exist & treat them with respect as ‘house-owners’ too. They are not your tenants grin

Divorce is not a ‘sin’, Adultery is. It’s not a sin to date or marry a legally divorced person, as long as your conscience is clear you didn’t cause the divorce. However, a separated person is still married until a divorce is finalized in court. So be careful and get the facts. Cheers!

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